


Can't Judge a Book

by thefeelsonthebus



Series: cyberbuddies.com [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Online Friendship, Slow Build, bully!jason, dramatically OOC jason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-10 06:29:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2014596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefeelsonthebus/pseuds/thefeelsonthebus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason has to become a cybermentor when his stepmother finds out about his bullying. Nico logs onto a cybermentors website when he can't take the bullying anymore. </p><p>It just shows you never know who you're talking to on the internet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Yellow

Jason opened his laptop, chuckling to himself. Just less than an hour ago, he had helped the football team he was on beat up the weird kid at school, Nico di Angelo. He always stayed in the library, watching foreign movies with no subtitles and reading long, complicated books, but when he walked out of the gates, Jason, Luke and Octavian were always there waiting for him. And he was the ringleader.

 

He typed in _cyberbuddies.com_ in the address bar. When his stepmom had found out about his “bullying,” she had called his dad, who had got mad and insisted Jason took a six months’ course on a cyber-mentor’s website. It was alright, actually. He’d made some friends, and helped some cool people. Family problems, (he had enough of those,) sexuality problems, (he had those as well, though he wouldn’t admit it if someone dragged him kicking and screaming,) and of course, bullying. Lots and lots of people, bullied and bullies alike. He tried hard to escape his own past experiences of bullying online, and sometimes, it actually worked.

 

He opened up his chat from yesterday. It was some girl called _BlueHairbrush,_ talking to Jason about how her dad was a building planner, and that he destroyed the environment, and how she hated it. Jason had told her that if she could just talk to her dad, yeah, maybe he wouldn’t give up her job, but he’d try and do something good for the environment as well. He left her a lot happier than she was when she started. He was just going to check for possible new contacts when a message popped up.

 

~

 

Nico was desperate. He didn’t know what else to do. The bullies were getting too much for him. Today, they’d punched him so hard that he had to take a detour to the toilets on the way home and retch into a sink. And then there were all the names. Mainly things like _faggot_ and _queer._ I mean, Jason and Luke had called him them so many times that he should have got used to them by now, but they still hurt. It’s not like he could change that he was gay. Oh, how he would have loved for one of them to be going through a sexuality crisis.

 

He couldn’t exactly tell Hazel. She’s worry her head off, and he couldn’t give her that kind of burden. She was doing so well at school, getting A’s in all her chemistry and fashion design exams, (it was a bit of a weird combination, but she liked jewels, so, you know, he could roll with it,) and she had even found herself a boyfriend. He was a nice guy, Frank Zhang. He looked scary, and he was three years older than Hazel, but when you got to know him, he was a total teddy bear. Nico was happy for her, but he didn’t want to burden her with all his problems.

 

So he did the only thing he could think of. The school’s guidance councillor, Hestia, had given him a link to a cyber-mentor’s website a few months ago. He swore to himself that he’d never use it, but desperate times called for desperate measures, and as Nico typed in _popcorn188_ in the username box, he thought this may have been one of the most desperate of them all. He found a person to talk to who was online, a male called _brickingit16_ from around where he lived, New York. He typed in a message; _Can I ask you for some help?_ Then he sat back, and waited.

 

~

 

_Can I ask you for some help?_

 

Jason frowned. Popcorn188. Unusual username. He was a male, and he’d obviously picked him because he was in New York too, like him. He must be pretty nervous about whatever he wanted to ask if he thought Jason wouldn’t help him. Of course he would. That was his job.

 

_Okay. Erm. How do I say this?_

**Take however long you need. I’m always here.**

He took a while to reply after that. Jason stuck his headphones in and listened to two songs before a new message popped up on his screen.

 

_I’m being bullied. Like, names and stuff, but being beaten up as well._

Jason replied instantly.

 

**How long for? And have you told anyone?**

_About six months. Like, since I moved to high school. It’s rough here._

**Tell me about it. I’m a junior but I’m still not used to it.**

_And no, I haven’t told anybody. All the popular kids at school at least have an inkling of what they’re doing, but nobody’s doing anything about it. The only person who might remotely care is my sister, and I don’t want to bother her._

Jason felt a stab of pity for this guy. Had he no parents? No friends? He’d gotten so used to his popular status, so far above everyone else, that he didn’t really know what it was like to be at the other end of the scale.

 

**Isn’t there anyone else who could help you? Parents? Friends? A girlfriend?**

_Dude, I’m gay. Why do you think I’m being bullied?_

_Yeah, ‘ah’ indeed._

**Any other things they say to you? Or just the usual _faggot_ stuff?**

_They always have a go at my sister. Say she deserved what she got._

**What, the same sister who you couldn’t tell this to? Was this why?**

He didn’t reply. Jason tried another tactic.

 

**I had a sister. My parents disowned her when they found out she was asexual, and she walked away to live with some of her friends. I’ve been there twice; I never saw her again. My parents just wanted both of us to marry rich people. Bring more money into the business, they said. They got annoyed enough when my incredibly rich girlfriend and I broke up because I was questioning my sexuality and it was getting too complicated. This was the last straw for her.**

_You’re questioning your sexuality? So what, are you gay too, or…_

**Bisexual. But hey, don’t go off topic. Your sister.**

 

**I know you’re there. I can see that you’ve seen the message.**

_She died when I was eleven._

**Oh, God. I’m so sorry.**

_You happy now?_

**No, I mean, oh my God. They must be evil if they say stuff about her.**

_Yeah, they are. She went for a drive with her two friends. The boy crashed the car when he couldn’t swerve past some junk in the road. The friends survived, but she died. They… The bullies always laugh at me for it, but they have no idea._

Jason shivered. He remembered when Thalia had been in a car crash. It had been horrible to see her come home, white and shaken, Percy holding onto her. She would never reveal too much information about what had happened. Now, it was too late to ask her. Besides, he didn’t really want to know.

 

**I would say I’m sorry, but that doesn’t bring her back.**

_Finally, someone who understands._

**I’ll try my best. Now, what are you going to do about these bastards? Or what shall _we_ do? :)**

Jason put a cautious smiley face at the end of the message, hoping Popcorn, as he would start referring to this mystery person, would return it.

 

_The whole point of this message was you telling me what we should do… :)_

He did. Jason felt a small buzz inside him at that.

 

**Well, you could avoid them as best as you can. I guess you already do that, but you could try taking a different route to school or whatever, wherever they corner you. :)**

_I’ll do that, but they’ll probably find me. :(_

**Try and _melt into the shadows_ or something. I don’t know, I’ve never been bullied. :(**

_Why are you putting a sad face? It’s nothing to be sad about. I bet you’re one of the popular jocks on the football team with a great girlfriend. :/_

**I am, actually. :/**

_Oh, get lost. How do you do it? :)_

**Patience, grasshopper. You feeling better now? :)**

_Yeah. Thank you so much. I’ll talk to you about how it went tomorrow. :)_

**No problem :)**

Jason logged off, a stupid smile on his face.


	2. Orange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico narrowly escapes another beating up, twice, and makes a new friend. It must be his lucky day. Jason, on the other hand, gets an intense dose of guilt from someone he used to call his friend.

 

Nico walked into school feeling considerably happier the next day after his conversation with The Brick, as he’d thought of him in his head. At lunch, he even accepted Hazel’s pleading offer to sit with them at lunch. He took his small dinner of half a tuna baguette towards the table where she, Frank, and the leader of the debate team, Reyna, were sat. He slid into a seat beside Hazel, smiling nervously as Frank bid him hello, and sat silently, his eyes scanning the cafeteria, only half listening to the conversation.

 

He was so out of it, he jumped when someone dropped into the seat next to him, carrying a plate of tortilla chips drenched in cheese and salsa and a cupcake. “Wish they came in blue,” he grumbled. “Oh, hi, Nico! Haven’t seen you in a while!” Nico looked up, his heart pounding. Percy looked at him through those green eyes, smiling. “Hi,” he mumbled as Annabeth, the smartest kid in school and Percy’s long-term girlfriend, sat down next to Percy. “What brings you here, Nico?” She asked. “Nothing much,” he replied, daring himself to look up. “Just thought I wanted a –“

 

“A battering?” An all too familiar voice chuckled. Nico immediately shrank down in his seat, and didn’t dare to turn around. “Go away, Jason.” Annabeth growled. Nico recognised Luke’s laugh; he knew it was Luke because it was laced with anger. Jason’s was just spite. “What you gonna do, Annie? Get your skater boyfriend to batter us?” Percy pulled the hood of his dark blue hoodie down and span around, a murderous flicker in his eyes. Frank and Hazel had no idea about what Nico was going through, but Percy and Annabeth had both seen Nico get beat up at least once, and now they both held a personal vendetta against Jason and Luke.

 

Jason dropped his gaze from Percy’s, scuffing the ground with his shoe, but Luke switched his gaze from Percy to Nico, staring him down. Nico glared back silently. He owed it to the Brick to try and be brave. He could tell him about it tonight. Luke glared at him for what felt like two hours, but in reality was probably only ten seconds. Then his lip twitched, and he walked away, not before snarling “You’re going to pay later, faggot,” before he left.

 

Percy put a hand on Nico’s shoulder. He flinched away from him, almost falling off the seat. “I’m fine,” he hissed, and was about to get up, when he saw Hazel’s worried face. He had to stay, to prove he was alright. He forced a smile at her. “I’m alright. They’re just dickheads, that’s all.” At the bell, Nico ran for his fifth lesson, desperate not to face Jason and Luke again.

 

Later, Nico took Brick’s advice and walked a different way to the bus. He almost got there. Almost.

 

He was just turning round the corner that would lead him straight to the bus station when he heard them. He looked behind and saw Jason and Luke, jeering. “Trying to run, faggot?” Jason laughed. “You scared of us?” “Can’t get away from us that easily.” Luke sneered. That was when Nico began to run. He sprinted around the corner, and attempted to run across the road, but Jason was fast, and he caught hold of his arm and punched him in the stomach. “You’re a pussy who can’t face up to what they deserve.” He snarled, and punched him again, pushing him roughly into the road. Nico stumbled backwards, but Jason followed him, Luke in tow. “You’re just a – shit!”

 

A horn blared from a pickup truck that had nearly ran all three of them over. Jason stumbled back onto the sidewalk as a curly head leaned out of the window. “If you don’t get out of the road, Jason, I swear to fucking God I’ll run you over!” Jason’s face contorted. “Nobody asked you for your fucking opinion, Valdez!” “Didn’t you use to be friends with that son of a bitch?” Luke asked, smirking. Leo revved the engine, jerking towards them in the car. They jumped backwards. “Don’t –“ he snarled, “Insult my mother.” He swung open the passenger door. “Get in, Di Angelo.” Nico gladly jumped in the car, and they sped away, Jason and Luke glowering after them.

 

Leo exhaled. “Jesus Christ, what were they going to do to you? I knew Jason was twisted, but I had no idea.” Nico leaned back in the dirty leather seat. “I don’t really wanna talk about it. But hey, thanks for saving my ass back there.” Leo laughed. “No problem. I would do anything to get one over those assholes.” He fiddled with the radio, pressing a button to start a CD. Nico groaned as One Direction came blaring over the speakers. “Are you fucking serious?” Leo went red. “Shit, I forgot to change it after I dropped Piper off the other day.” “A likely story,” Nico chuckled, but let Leo change the CD to Ed Sheeran.

 

He sang along under his breath as he turned into Nico’s street. “How do you know where I live?” Nico asked, worried Leo was stalking him. “Your sister, Hazel. Sometimes I give her lifts home. We were quite good friends, before Jason deserted me and I started spending all of my living days in the garage.” “You used to be friends with Jason?” Nico asked, a slight tremble in his voice. Leo put the handbrake on. “Yeah, freshman year. Then he got popular, started dating Piper, and I was left as a nobody. Piper’s still alright with me, but Jason’s just an asshole.” Nico nodded. “Don’t I know it,” he muttered, and got out of the car. “Thanks for the lift.” “Any time,” Leo smiled, and drove off. Nico unlocked the door, (Hazel wasn’t in – probably out with Frank somewhere,) and ran straight upstairs to log onto his computer. He wanted to talk to Brick.

 

~

 

Jason beamed when the message popped up. _Well, I tried what you said._ A knot it his stomach tightened. What did he mean, _tried?_

**Tried?**

_Yeah, well, they punched me a few times, but a friend rescued me. A new friend._

Jason smiled. The thoughts of his own bullying were behind him, and pride was inside him. He’d saved a kid from getting hurt. Well, this new friend had, technically, but it still made him happy. **New friends are always good.**

_He had One Direction on in the car._

**I retract my earlier statement.**

There was a pause. Jason hoped Popcorn was laughing so hard at his witty statement that he couldn’t type. Eh, maybe not. When he didn’t reply, Jason typed another statement.

 

**Do you have any other friends?**

There was a long pause. Jason guessed Popcorn was typing a long paragraph. Finally, he replied.

 

_I have my sister, obviously. And her boyfriend. He’s gigantic, but about as scary as a butterfly. Then I have two other sort of friends that I’ve known for years and years. The girl is really smart, and glares at the bullies all the time. The boy’s a snarky, sarcastic little shit who always wears his hair over his face and always wears a hoodie._

Jason raised his eyebrows. He sounded a lot like Percy Jackson. Percy Jackson. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. Man, that had been an awkward time. He could barely look at Percy now without thinking of the little bicurious crush he’d had on him last year. Hell, even today, when he was defending Nico the faggot, he couldn’t look at Percy. He was too afraid that the feelings he thought had faded would come rushing back up again. **If you don’t like him, why are you friends with him?**

_Yeah. That’s the problem. I_

There was a pause. Jason wondered whether he’d clicked the send button too early when the second part of the message came through.

 

_I kind of like him a bit more than I planned._

Jason blinked. **Oh.**

_Yeah. Oh._

**Those are the worst types of guys. I would know. Dude, I feel your pain.**

_How would you ever know how I feel? How would you know what it feels like to be unloved, unwanted? You said yourself that you’re everybody’s golden boy, the most popular kid in school. You don’t know how it feels to be punched until you’re physically sick, locked in your own bathroom so your sister doesn’t hear you from downstairs. You don’t know how it feels to be constantly taunted and broken down for just being who you are, so much that you hate yourself. You don’t know how it feels to feel so empty that you wish you could just die! You don’t know how it feels to want to die! It hurts, and you can’t say for a second that you know how it feels, because you don’t!_

Jason felt something aching inside him. He kept staring at three little words in that long message numbly. Words that made him want to find out who Popcorn was and hold him tightly until he felt better. Words that made him want to murder the people who bullied him.

 

 **Popcorn,** he typed tentatively, **you said you want to die. Is that true?**

He had to wait a long time for his response. He leaned forward on his desk, drumming his hands on the desk anxiously, when he heard his phone buzz. He looked at it. A call from an unknown number. He hesitated. Unknown calls could be weird sometimes. But then he thought what the hell. Why not? He picked up and held the phone to his ear.

 

“You’re a fucking asshole.” A voice he hadn’t heard through the phone in two years rang through his mind. His face contorted. “How the hell do you still have my number, Valdez?” “Kept it for emergencies,” Leo replied, his voice taut with controlled sarcasm. “Really? Not sure you’re gay, like your new buddy Di Angelo?” Jason knew it was cruel, especially after talking to someone who was being bullied for exactly the same thing as Nico, but Nico pissed him off, and right now, he hated Leo too. “I have a girlfriend, you son of a bitch.” “Really?” Jason snorted. “Is she blind, or just desperate?” “Neither, and she’s not a figment of my imagination either, before you and your smart mouth says that. She’s called Callie, and she goes to a school across town. But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

 

Jason rolled his eyes. “I guess you’re going to have a rant at me for punching the faggot at school today.” “How did you guess?” Leo’s voice dripped with sarcasm. Jason sighed. Leo used to be his best friend back in freshman year, they went everywhere together, then as soon as Jason started dating Piper, he became popular and joined the football team, and Leo drifted off to stay not exactly unpopular, but not well known among the students other than the one who has a pickup truck and works in a garage. “I don’t give a shit about him, so just fuck off.”

 

“You’re a bully, Jason Grace.” Leo’s voice was low. “Haven’t you ever known anyone who’s been bullied? Haven’t you known how low it made them feel?” That made Jason squirm in his seat, looking at the screen where he was talking to Popcorn, who still hadn’t replied. “You’re not my mom, so stop acting like it. You keep forcing yourself as mom on everyone because you never had one, because, just so you could be reminded, she’s dead!” There was silence on the phone for a moment, punctuated only by Leo’s ragged breathing. Then he spoke, his voice low, but filled with carefully controlled anger. “I hope you get arrested for what you do to Nico. You fucking deserve it.” A click told him Leo had ended the call, and Jason sat forward, his head in his hands.

 

_What had he done?_

Leo’s mom had died in a fire when he was eight. Only the cruellest person could bring that up to hurt him. And he had done. Leo used to be his friend, and he’d hurt him in the most spiteful way possible. That made him as bad as the bullies bullying Popcorn. Speaking of which, he looked back at his computer screen and found he had replied.

~

 

Nico typed back to Brick, his hands shaking.

 

_Sometimes._

He didn’t know why he was telling this to Brick. Maybe he just wanted someone in his miserable life that wasn’t his sister to comfort him at what he was going through. Maybe he didn’t care about keeping it a secret anymore.

 

**Have you ever tried it?**

_No._

**Thank God. Tell me if you ever think like that, because I would be so mad at you if you didn’t come and talk to me. You can always talk to me. I’m always here for you.**

_It’s your job on here._

**No, I’m saying this because I care about you.**

Nico let a stupid smile unfold across his face. Someone cared about _him._

_Can we just talk about something normal? Like a book, or a TV show, or something?_

**Sure. Go ahead. You start.**

_Do you like Game of Thrones? As in the books?_

**No, but the TV series are my life. I’m halfway through Series Three.**

_You haven’t read the books? Who’s your favourite character, I’ll tell you if they’re dead yet._

**What?! Dude, spoilers are evil!**

Nico held back a laugh. Brick replied anyway, curiosity probably getting the better of him.

 

**Daenerys. Where are my dragons?!**

_Yeah, she’s still alive. Don’t worry._

**Yes!**

_Joffrey dies next season though._

**YES!**

Nico couldn’t help laughing that time. He hated Joffrey too. He thought everyone did, and Brick was no exception.

 

_I know, it’s so cool on screen. He goes all purple and choking and stuff. He dies at his own wedding._

**That sucks.**

_He freaking deserves it._

**I suppose he does. What else do you like?**

Nico was very tempted to say _you,_ but that definitely counted as caring, and not caring was one of his number one rules. As one of his favourite films said, the more you care, the more you have to lose. Speaking of that…

 

_I may have had a little crush on Daniel Radcliffe in the fifth and sixth Harry Potter film._

**Yeah, he was the hottest then.**

Nico smiled, but a tiny spurt of jealously burned inside him. Brick agreed. He shouldn’t agree that someone else was hot.

 

_Do you just like the films, or have you read the books too?_

**No, I actually have read the Harry Potter books. Don’t tell my friends, but I think it should be made the law.**

_I know, right?_

**What house would you be in?**

Nico paused. He’d been sorted into Slytherin in Pottermore, but he guessed that was just because of his slight obsession with ghosts and shit. Personally, he didn’t think he was that dark. He was just a little broken.

 

_Hufflepuff. Everyone sees them as lame, and they’re loyal. I have like, three people I’d die for, and I don’t like everyone else._

**You’re not lame. Hufflepuffs are awesome. Tonks was from Hufflepuff.**

_Was._

**Dude, too soon.**

Nico smothered a laugh.

 

_Sorry. What about you? Would you be a Gryffindor?_

**Far from it. I’m not brave. I’m a coward, as one of my old friends pointed out ten minutes ago.**

_I won’t ask._

**Good. I’d probably end up in Slytherin.**

Nico frowned. Why would Brick wish Slytherin upon himself? Not that he had anything against Slytherin, apart from Voldemort of course, but he found it strange that anyone would think they belong in the same house as the most evil wizard of all time.

 

_You don’t sound like the kind of guy who’s be in Slytherin._

**You have no idea what I’ve done, Popcorn. This, this nice guy thing I have going for me online, it isn’t who I am. You wouldn’t believe what I’m like in real life. I shouldn’t even be giving you help. I don’t deserve to be talking to you.**

_You can’t be that bad. You don’t bully people, do you? You’re not as bad as the ones who bully me. Nobody could be._

**Popcorn, you wouldn’t like me nearly as much if you knew who I was offline.**

 

Nico’s hands hovered over the keyboard. Should he type it? Brick sounded like he needed some reassuring that he wasn’t all bad. He had helped Nico, and Nico owed it to him to do the same. Plus, it may be ridiculous, but he was almost positive he had stirrings of feelings for Brick, even though he had never met him. He had been so _nice._

_I bet I would. I already do enough, what could change that so badly?_

**You really believe that?**

_Course._

**Well, erm, thanks.**

_Anytime :)_

He clicked off the window. He felt strangely happy, a feeling almost foreign to him, at having helped someone he cared about out of their misery, when normally it was the other way around.


	3. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico finally stands up to his demons, but his new friend is too preoccupied with guilt to care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's only got two POV's instead of three, but I'm going on holiday tomorrow so I wanted to put a chapter up before I went.

The next day at school, Jason was in an unusually bad mood. He walked into his second lesson, which happened to be Chemistry, slamming his books on the desk, and Luke looked up. “Dude, mad much?” He smirked. “Who lit the fuse on your tampon?” “Shut your face,” he growled, looking across the room to see whether Leo had come in to the back of the classroom yet. He hadn’t. Octavian, from the other side of Luke, raised his eyebrows. “Ooh, touchy!” He said, but by the expression on Jason’s face, he shut up.

 

Halfway through the lesson, when they were all getting out Bunsen Burners to do tests on gases, Leo came in, suspiciously red-eyed. Jason ducked his head and busied himself with turning on his Bunsen burner. The professor had a bit of a yell at Leo, but let him off easily when he saw how obvious it was that he had been crying, and let him go over to his lab partner, Rachel, who already had the equipment set up.

 

Jason listened in to their conversation, as they were only sat two desks away. “Can you light it, Leo?” Rachel asked. “I’m really crap at fiery stuff. I always think I’m going to burn the place down.” Leo’s face contorted at the mention of burning things down, (Jason got an unpleasant twinge in his stomach when he saw him,) but obliged silently, ducking away at the fire licked dangerously close to his curly hair.

 

By the end of the lesson, Jason was done with Leo, and didn’t want to be in the same room as him ever again. He walked out as soon as the teacher dismissed him, and headed straight to the canteen to go and get some food. He queued up in the line, and saw that the snack today was little tubs of popcorn. He smiled ruefully, his mystery cyberbuddy coming to mind. What he wouldn’t give for a conversation with Popcorn right now to take away his anger. But instead, he’d have to use his next best method. Go and find his favourite punching bag to take it out on instead.

 

But when he heard a slight laugh from behind him, he realised he’d already found him.

 

Jason span around. “What you laughing at, faggot?” He growled at Nico. The smile dropped from his lips as he switched his gaze from the popcorn, which apparently he had been smiling at too, to Jason. Jason didn’t know what started his hate for Nico. It was just something his other team members had made him join in on, and he’d slowly but surely made himself the ringleader. Now, just the mere sight of Nico made him frown.

 

Nico started to walk away. “No… nothing,” he stuttered, but Jason grabbed the back of his jacket and span him around. Terror was written all over the smaller boy’s face. “You’re not going anywhere, queer boy,” he snarled. Then he lowered his voice. “Come behind the back of school at the end of school. Then you’ll get what you escaped last night.” “No.” Nico said, his voice a lot firmer than his face. Jason was momentarily impressed. Since when had Nico stood up for himself? “Oh?” He said, his eyebrows raised in fake amusement. “Really? Then I’ll just have to find your sister and give your punishment to her instead.”

 

It was a low blow, Jason knew that, and he hoped Nico didn’t know Jason would never really do that. Hazel Levesque was only a freshman, and she was as innocent as a High School Musical DVD. But Nico seemed to think the worst of Jason. His eyes widened to saucers, and his eyebrows practically shot off his face. “I’ll be there,” he whispered, then pulled out of Jason’s grip, visibly trembling as he walked away.

 

At lunch, Jason was going to football practice, when he saw Nico in the hallway. He was about to walk up to him and remind him of his promise, when he saw Hazel next to him. He walked a little closer, so he could hear what they were saying. As he took a step, Nico embraced her. “I love you, Hazel,” Jason heard him say. “Don’t ever forget that. You’re an amazing sister, and I love you.” She hugged him back, looking a little bemused, then she stiffened when she saw Jason.

 

Nico turned around. “Hazel, what…” he trailed off as he saw Jason, just staring at him. The fear in his face was unmistakable. Jason felt a mix of emotions rush through him. Hate, pity, and one he wouldn’t admit in a million years, guilt. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind as Hazel steered Nico away, shooting a glare back over her shoulder at him. She may not have seen Jason beat her brother up, but she had some idea of what was going on.

 

Long after they walked away, and all the way through last period, every time Jason closed his eyes he could see Nico’s face, shaking with fear.

 

After school, Jason headed quickly to the back of the science building, the place he’d said to meet Nico. It was unguarded, and nobody went there normally anyway. Nico was already there, his arms drawn around him, trying and failing to stop the shaking. He hadn’t seen Jason yet. Jason chuckled to himself darkly, then walked up to Nico, slamming his head against the brick wall and pushing him up against it. “Shaking, are you?” He growled. “Is Nico the little faggot terrified?” Nico whimpered, turning his face away. Honestly. The amount of times he’d been beaten up, you’d think he’d get used to the pain. Jason laughed. “Let’s make you more scared,” he spat, and punched Nico in the stomach.

 

Nico groaned, doubling over. Jason gave him barely a second to recover before pushing him back against the wall. He put his face close to Nico’s ear. “Were you really so stupid that you thought I’d beat up your sister?” He growled. “She’s done nothing, unlike you. How bad do you think I am?” Nico dared to look him in the eye. “Off the scale,” he said, quietly but firmly, and Jason punched him again.

 

“Don’t –“ he said, through gritted teeth, “underestimate me, Nico di Angelo. I seem like a demon, and yeah, I am a demon to you, but I’m only a demon to the people who _deserve it.”_ Another punch to the jaw. Nico moaned in pain. “I do have a good side, though I don’t choose to show it that often. Cross me, and I’ll hit you like a ton of bricks.” He put emphasis on the last word, Popcorn coming to mind. Suddenly he felt sickened with himself. Something flickered in Nico’s eyes, an expression of – was it longing? Jason gave himself a mental slap. He couldn’t afford to do that.

 

He punched Nico again. “You’ve never been brave enough to stand up for yourself. Nobody would ever love you. Not even your sister.”

 

Suddenly, Jason felt a pain in his jaw. He released Nico, stumbling backwards from the force. Nico was staring down at his hands in shock. Had he _punched_ Jason? Jason met Nico’s eyes. They were full of fear again. “Go,” he spat. Nico blinked. “Wh… what?” “You heard me." Jason didn't know what he was doing. Normally, he would have grabbed Nio and beat him unconscious, but today was different. What would happen if Nico was Popcorn, and he was being bullied? What would Jason want to happen then? "Get out of here, faggot.” Nico stared at him nervously, as if it was a trap, then ran away, giving one last, astonished look over his shoulder at Jason.

 

Jason leant back against the wall, his head in his hands. He supposed he had deserved that one.

 

~

 

Nico was in a good mood as he logged onto the computer. Admittedly, an astonished mood, but a good one. He had punched Jason, _he had punched Jason,_ he still couldn’t believe that he’d actually stood up for himself, and Jason had let him go without another injury. The pain in his stomach had faded, and he had a glowing feeling inside him at the thought of talking to Brick. Jason’s mention of bricks had disjointed him, and now his online friend was running through his mind. He couldn’t help having the lingering feeling that repercussions were going to come for punching Jason, but he’d cross that bridge when he came to it.

 

_Hi :)_

 

No reply. Maybe he was just offline.

 

_You okay? :)_

**I don’t really want to talk tonight, Popcorn.**

_What’s wrong?_

**Nothing, I’m fine.**

_I’ve said I’m fine enough to know that something’s wrong whenever anyone says that. You can trust me._

 

_Please?_

Nico had to wait at least ten minutes for his reply, and even then, it was a short one.

 

**Do you ever get that feeling where you’ve been doing something for years and years, and now you want to change your mind about it?**

_Doing something as in how? Do you mean_ doing _something? Because I’m still a virgin. I’m a lonely gay virgin and I always will be._

**You know what I mean, you moron.**

_Though Popcorn does sound kind of like a stripper name. Like, “I want Popcorn. Come here, sexy, let me pop some corn in your microwave.”_

**What the hell?!**

_Don’t even ask where that came from._

**So is that your secret identity?**

_Oh no! You discovered my secret!_

**I knew it! I knew you were too good to be true! It was either that, or a paedophile. All cute people online are paedophiles.**

Nico stared at the message, a smile creeping onto his face. Did Brick just call him _cute?_

_What?_

**I shouldn’t’ve said that. I should not have said that.**

_Is that a Harry Potter reference?_

**Maybe :)**

_So, come on then, what’s your secret identity? Are_ you _a paedophile?_

**Are you calling me cute? According to me, all cute people are paedophiles.**

_Moving on._

**No, I’m not a paedophile, but that doesn’t mean I’m not cute. Am I right?**

Nico smiled. He hated to admit it, but Brick was right. He wouldn’t say that in a million years, though.

 

_You’re modest too._

**No, this is my secret identity. Online. Talking to you. If you knew me in real life, you wouldn’t think in a million years I was the Brick you’ve grown to know and love.**

_You keep saying I wouldn’t know who you were like you’re some kind of mass supervillain._

**Maybe I am. Maybe I’m plotting to blow up my school because it sucks so bad.**

Nico frowned. What could Brick be hiding that was so bad?

 

**I’m not, by the way. I’m not _that_ bad.**

_I know. Don’t worry._

**:)**

_This conversation drifted dramatically off topic._

**Yeah, I do that a lot. My sister used to say I was the champion deviator. I didn’t even know what that word meant until I was fifteen.**

_Deviate:_ _to stray especially from a standard, principle, or topic._

**Alright, Shakespeare. :)**

_If you only learnt that word when you were fifteen, how old are you now?_

**This is drifting towards paedophilia.**

**And I’m turning seventeen in like, three months.**

_You don’t seem particularly bothered about the “paedophilia,” as you call it._

**Eh. How old are you?**

_Turning sixteen in about a month and a half._

**Birthday in the middle of May?**

**That’s so cool! You turn sixteen on the sixteenth!**

_You get amused by the most trivial things._

**Just one of the joys of being me.**

_I’m glad I could cheer you up._

**I’m glad you were online to cheer me up.**

_:)_

**:)**

Nico heard the door slam shut. “I’m home!” Hazel shouted upstairs. She’d probably been at a revision class after school. Nico smiled and shut his computer, walking downstairs. When she asked him what had happened to put such a ridiculous smile on his face, Nico merely smiled mysteriously. He didn’t want to share his friendship with Brick with anybody.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally have no idea where I am going with this story for the next two chapters then I have it all planned out


	4. Purple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason sees an old face again, but not in the way he'd exactly hope to. Nico sees an all too familiar face doing something he'd never imagine them to. And both of them clash, with disastrous consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait, I was on holiday.

This sequence of events went on for a month.

 

Jason woke up every day with a stupid smile on his face. His dad and stepmom continually asked him what was up, but he wouldn’t say. After a while, they assumed he was with another girl and left him to his happiness. He didn’t correct them. God knows what would happen if he did. They were better left in their oblivious state, not knowing anything. They were in it often enough about all the parties, drinking, smoking, sex, testing drugs, (not that he’d be doing that again. Yikes.) What harm would one, (admittedly male,) online friend do?

 

He went to school, carrying on just as normal with his football team, practicing every day after school, making jokes in the hallway as Nico di Angelo walked past, and beating him up whenever they were alone. He never got revenge for Nico punching him. He thought the kid deserved just a little relief for trying to stand up for himself once in his pathetic little life. Not much, though. He got dozens of punches, kicks, and hits, and one didn’t make much of a difference. He and Luke were smart enough to hit him where it hurt, but didn’t show. That way, you could never see the bruises that covered his body from their assaults. He wore long shirts and trousers anyway. It wasn’t like it mattered. Jason just wanted to make sure.

 

As he was driving home in his car, he sped home like a drag racer, a train of angry blaring horns behind him. He didn’t care. He knew that, after weeks of speaking to him, Popcorn first came online at about 3:40, and since it took Jason about half an hour to get home from school driving at a normal speed, he had to go way, way over the limit to get home in time to talk to Popcorn as soon as he got online. He didn’t want to waste a second of time talking to Popcorn.

 

He didn’t come out of his room all night apart from dinner, and even then, that was only for ten minutes, while he wolfed down whatever expensive meal his stepmom had made for him and raced back upstairs to talk to Popcorn again. They probably thought he was busy watching porn online or something. If only they knew the truth. If they found out he was talking to a guy online, they’d blow their tops.

 

But one day, everything changed.

 

It started when his sister Thalia called for the first time in two years. Well, she texted him. **_Can you come and meet me at the back of Nectar Drops tonight?_** Nectar Drops was the café him and Thalia always used to go to after school on Fridays. **_I’m in town and I really wanna see you, but I can’t let Mom or Dad see me._** Jason grinned. It had been ages since he’d seen his sister, and he wanted to catch up with her.

 

**I wouldn’t miss it for the world :)**

**_See you there, then, little bro._ **

****

Jason sent a quick message to Popcorn telling him he’d be online late, told his parents he was meeting some friends in town, (he was a very good liar,) and went off to school, smiling more than usual.

 

After school, he walked to Nectar Drops as quick as he could. He couldn’t wait to see Thalia again. She was always there for him when he was younger and not as popular, and it nearly broke his heart to see her leave two years ago to move to Anchorage with a group of girls, in freaking Alaska. _Alaska._ It was at least a week’s journey away by driving for half the day. He’d wanted to visit, but he’d never had the time. Now, he finally got to see her again.

 

But when he skidded to a halt, panting, behind the back of the café, Thalia was already there. And she was talking to someone Jason really didn’t want to see with her.

 

 _Of course._ Nico was friends with Thalia through Percy. Nico must have been hiding from Luke or someone, and bumped into her around here. Jason lurked in the alleyway. They appeared to be having a heated conversation. Thalia had hold of Nico’s arm, and was tugging at it as he tried to pull away. He caught a few of their words. “If you’d just tell me, I’ll leave you alone!” Thalia yelled. Nico’s voice was steely cold. “I’ve told you, there’s nothing – agh!” The sleeve of his shirt ripped, and his arm was exposed, along with – _oh God._

Nico’s shoulder and upper arm appeared to be painted bright blue and purple, but Jason knew all too well that they were bruises. Bruises _he_ had inflicted. He had no idea he’d hurt Nico that badly.

 

Thalia gasped, immediately releasing Nico. Nico tugged his sleeve up around his shoulder, but the damage was done. Thalia had seen. She took his hand gingerly. Unknowingly, Jason had crept a little closer, so he could hear everything they were saying. “Did you do this, Nico?” Thalia said in a hushed whisper. “Because of Bia –“ “No!” Nico yelled, tugging away. Jason dove back into the shadows. “It was someone else.”

 

Jason felt a crushing feeling in the pit of his stomach. “Who was it, Nico?” Thalia whispered. Jason tiptoed closer again. He had to know whether Nico told Thalia. “It was nobody. Now, let me go!” “Not till you tell me who did this to you!” Thalia had her hand locked around Nico’s wrist, but he was tugging away desperately. “Let me –“

 

He span around, and froze, a look of horror on his face that Jason was sure his own face was imitating. He backed away instinctively, and bumped into Thalia, who was staring at Jason, a look of confusion on her face. Slowly, as she realized who Nico’s attacker was, she released Nico’s wrist, and he ran. She didn’t move. She was just staring at him, horror on her face.

 

“Jason?” She whispered, like she didn’t want to believe it. He hung his head in shame, tears pooling in his eyes for the first time since she left him. “I’m so sorry.” Her face hardened, and instead of walking to Jason to embrace him, she turned and walked away. Jason didn’t follow. He leant against the wall, steadying himself, for the world had gone dizzy, as for the first time ever, he felt soul-crushingly guilty for what he’d done.

 

~

 

Nico was walking home, his hands shaking. Now what would Jason do to him? Thalia would surely yell at her brother, but nothing would happen. Nothing would ever happen. It would carry on like before, only worse. And Nico would have to hide it all over again. Well, he had to hide a lot of things. Nothing new there.

 

He logged on to his computer, changing his shirt straight away so Hazel wouldn’t ask why it was damaged. He needed a shoulder to lean on, and that shoulder could only belong to one person. _Hey,_ he messaged to Brick. _Rough day today._

**Same here, but you go first.**

_Well, my bully’s probably going to kill me tomorrow, and I saw an old friend I don’t really want to see again._

**Why?**

_She was one of the other people in the car crash that killed my sister._

**Wow. Jesus.**

_Yeah, I know. Pretty rough. But go on, how was your day?_

**Well, my sister hates me now.**

_Oh. That's pretty bad._

**I don’t really want to talk about it.**

_You have reason to. Don’t worry, its fine._

Nico sat back and waited for a reply. It didn’t come, but Nico wasn’t ready to stop talking. Nowhere near.

 

_You still there?_

**Can I ask you a stupid question?**

_I’m open to them._

There was a long pause. Nico tapped his fingers on the desk as he waited, waiting nervously for a reply. Finally, the message box blinked.

 

**Do you want to meet up sometime?**

Nico’s stomach twanged with nervousness. He didn’t want Brick to be let down when he met him. He wanted it to be just the way it was. Happy and anonymous. He had no doubts Brick was amazing, but he knew Brick would be less than impressed with him. Who was he, really?

 

_What?_

**I just thought, since we both live in New York, we may as well. Besides, I kind of want to meet you in person :)**

_Brick, I don’t know what to say._

**Oh. It’s okay then. Sorry, I’m sometimes too pushy.**

_No, no, it’s not you. I’m just scared you won’t like me when you meet me. Like I won’t live up to your expectations. I just don’t think I’ll be, erm, I don’t know._

**Good enough? Because let me tell you, Popcorn, you’ll always be good enough for me.**

 

Nico couldn’t help smiling at that. Brick was the only person outside his family who had really cared for him. Liked him. Maybe even – no. Nico couldn’t afford to think like that.

 

_Really?_

**Really. You know, Popcorn, this might sound really stupid, but, erm**

_Go on._

Nico’s hands were shaking as he typed.

 

_You can tell me._

**I really like you, Popcorn.**

Nico’s hands fell away from the keyboard. He stared at the screen in shock, the message not computing. Brick couldn’t like him. Who in their right mind would like _him?_

**As in more than a friend I mean.**

**Shit, you aren’t replying.**

**I’ve fucked up I’ve fucked up**

_Brick?_

**Yeah?**

_Shut up. Stop worrying. You don’t need to worry, because I_

_I really like you too._

**Really?**

**Well, I’ll drop the idea for now. I still want to see your face someday though.**

_I promise you will. :)_

**Great :)**

The next day, walking up to school, Nico was in a good mood, walking up the back way. Brick really liked him. _Him._ Who would like him? He hummed to himself lightly as he walked up the hill leading to the back gate, stopping abruptly when he heard an all too familiar groan that could only link with someone getting punched in the stomach.

 

Nico’s breath shook. Who was Jason and Luke beating up this time? He chanced a look round the corner, before he ran for his life, but what he saw made him freeze. Jason was not beating anybody up. Jason was the one slumped against the wall, blood dribbling down his face, moaning lowly. Nico’s heart constricted. On the one hand, Jason was a bully, and he deserved it. On the other, nobody should be hurt like he had been. “Your sister told me what you did,” the voice of the person hurting him growled. “You can’t do that to Nico again.”

Nico couldn’t hold in a rattling gasp, and as the attacker turned around, Nico caught a full glimpse of his face. His sea green eyes.

 

_Percy._

It was then that Nico ran.

~

 

Jason stumbled into first lesson with blood still on his face. Man, he was so _stupid._ Thalia was loyal to him, sure, but she was loyal to her friends too. She would have told someone about what he did to the poor faggot. And that person happened to be Percy. Of course, she had no idea that Percy would lie in wait for him on the way to school and proceed to beat him up for what he’d done to Nico. Well, now he knew what it felt like to be beat up. Maybe he and Nico could start a club or something.

 

“What happened to you?” Luke laughed. Jason frowned, wiping a little blood from the corner of his mouth. He had to make a lie up, and fast. “Got jumped on the way to school. They tried to take my phone, and they tried to punch me for it, but I got away.” Luke raised his eyebrows. “Jesus. How old were they? How big?” “About twenty five,” Jason replied, sinking into the lie. “And they looked like they worked out. Don’t know how, cos they were homeless, and I swear I saw a switchblade in their back pocket.” Luke gave a low whistle. “Dude, you’re a legend. Everyone’s gonna worship you!” “Don’t they already?” Jason joked, but it didn’t make the uneasy feeling creeping up inside him disappear.

 

Luke had spread the news of Jason’s ‘bravery’ all around the school by lunch, and girls were coming up to him, batting their eyes and blushing. He walked away from them all, a little irritated at their constant attention. He couldn’t help thinking of Popcorn. If it had really happened, and he knew, Popcorn wouldn’t be like that. He’d laugh and say ‘well done,’ sure, but he’d move on after a while. He wouldn’t hang onto it like it made Jason some kind of emperor. Of course, if he knew everything, he’d be disgusted with him.

 

At the end of the day, Luke was outside with Jason, Octavian and the rest of the football team, when he saw Percy and Annabeth coming over. Jason gulped and turned his head away, seeing Percy’s eyes narrow at the mere sight of him, but Luke went right up to Percy and motioned for him to come over. Like they were friends.

 

“Hey, Perce –“ “Don’t call me that.” Percy growled. “Perce, you’ll never guess what Jason here has done. He’s like the bravest guy of the century; that’s why he’s so beat up. He’s so awesome!” He shot a look back at Jason, who returned it for a second, then glanced at Percy, who was feigning a look of fake interest. Jason looked at the floor.

 

“Do tell.” Percy said dryly, in a tone of voice not normally taken by him. He was usually much more easy-going. Not now though. Luke laughed, slapping a hand on Jason’s shoulder, right where Percy had punched him this morning. Jason tried to hide a wince, and a satisfied smirk rolled over Percy’s lips. “Jason got jumped on the way to school this morning, but he fought the guy off. He had a knife, and he fought him off. How cool is that?”

 

Percy walked right up to Jason. Jason backed away a little. “Really? Jumped on the way to school?” Then he lowered his voice, so only Jason could hear him. “As I recall, I didn’t have a knife, and you didn’t fight me off. I finally left you alone for what you did to him.” He raised his voice again, so Annabeth, and the people walking home around them could here. “Did you hear that? Jason says he got jumped by a tramp, but that’s – agh!”

 

That was when Jason’s fist found Percy’s stomach.

 

Annabeth screamed, and shouted for help, but everyone was too afraid to intervene. Jason just kept beating Percy over and over again, and Percy tried to fight back, but so much rage was boiling up inside him, so much rage at Percy for nearly exposing his lies and so much rage at his sister at telling Percy and so much rage at himself for getting himself into this mess in the first place, and even Luke was backing away from him, and all he needed to stop was his favourite punching bag, Nico di Angelo, but he wasn’t there. Then he was there, and he was screaming, and pulling Jason off Percy, and Jason didn’t know how he did it, because Nico was so much smaller than him. But he had done, and now Jason’s attention was off Percy, who was stumbling, spluttering, towards Annabeth, and onto him.

 

He slammed Nico against the wall, ignoring the spectator’s gasps. “Trying to fight back for your boyfriend, faggot?!” He yelled at Nico, and Nico actually flinched backwards, as if what he’d said was true. “He wouldn’t fight back for you. Nobody would!” He didn’t need to punch Nico. The words he were saying were more painful than physical force. “Nobody cares about you; you’re just a lonely, freaky faggot!” Nico shrank back away from Jason, but he wasn’t done yet. “Nobody will ever love you. You’ll always be alone. Everyone goes out of their way to avoid you. Your friends secretly hate you –“ “That’s not true!” Percy yelled, but Nico didn’t hear him. His eyes were locked on Jason, the brown irises swallowed up by the black pupils in fear.

 

Jason couldn’t stop. He didn’t know what he was doing, he’d never normally do this, _never,_ but he was angry. He couldn’t stop. And he wasn’t done with hurting Nico. “Everyone goes out of their way to get away from you. What’s your sister’s name again?” Nico didn’t answer. “Answer me!” Jason yelled, moving his face close to Nico’s. “Hazel,” he squeaks. Jason smirked. “No, the other one.” Nico’s eyes widened. “Bianca, isn’t it? Or should I say, _wasn’t_ it?” Nico made a noise. It might have been a whimper. Jason couldn’t tell, the blood was raging in his ears too loudly. “Yeah, I bet she got herself killed so she could get away from you!”

 

Moments after those words left his mouth, Jason regretted them instantly. He loosened his grip on Nico, when suddenly someone dragged him off Nico. He span around, and saw it was Percy, ignoring his various injuries, his face fuming. Everyone froze for a few seconds, staring at Jason and Percy, glaring at each other. Nico was the first to move. He ran, ran down the road, away from the crowd, and Jason watched him disappear, and he was horribly sure that he could hear broken sobs echoing down the road as he left.

 

Jason turned back around to find Percy staring at him incredulously. “What have you _done?_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY MEET NEXT CHAPTER


	5. Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico becomes desperately lonely. And desperate times call for desperate measures. But can Jason stop him from taking the most desperate measure of all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: suicide

Nico didn’t know how he managed to stumble home without running into a road and getting hit by a car. Maybe some god of eternal misery was watching over him to make sure he couldn’t die and that he had to live with this pain. How could Jason say that about Bianca? He knew he was twisted, but this? This was another level.

 

Somehow, he managed to get home. He unlocked the door with trembling hands, tears still streaming down his face, but before he opened it, he paused. Hazel couldn’t know he’d been crying. She’d ask too many questions, and then she’d get upset. He couldn’t bear to see her upset. It broke him. And he didn’t need any more breaking today. So he wiped his eyes furiously, checking them in the window, then walked into the house.

 

“Hazel?” He croaked. “I’m home.” He wanted to ask her something stupid. He wanted to act like a kid again. They did that sometimes; just rent a Disney movie and curl up on the sofa together with a bag of microwave popcorn each. Nico had salted but Hazel preferred sweet. “Could you do me a favour?” No answer, so he checked upstairs in her purple room. Nothing. “Hazel?” he asked, then he heard the whirr of a blender from downstairs. “Hazel?” He shouted, and ran downstairs to find Hazel manning a blender with a red liquid inside, and Frank whizzing around on one of the spinning chairs by the breakfast bar.

 

“Nico!” Hazel’s smile was uneasy. “We were just popping back to get a smoothie before we met up with Leo and his girlfriend in town. We broke into your pomegranate supply; do you mind?” Nico shook his head groggily, waving his hand as a gesture of insignificance. “No, course not.” Well, he guessed that plan was down the drain. He really wanted to be with someone, he needed to be with someone, he didn’t know what would happen otherwise, but he was too afraid to ask Hazel. He didn’t want to ruin her evening while she looked after her pathetic brother.

 

Hazel put the red liquid into two bottles and tossed one to Frank. “Let’s go,” he said, but she looked back at Nico anxiously. “I’ll meet you outside. Just give me a second.” Frank nodded, shooting a worried look at Nico before exiting the house. Hazel turned back to Nico. “Are you okay, Nico?” She asked, putting a hand to his cheek. “They haven’t been saying anything, have they? Jason and them lot?” Nico shook his head. “No, course not. I’m fine, Hazel.” The lie stuck in his throat, but he managed to get it out. She still looked concerned. “Are you sure? Your eyes are red.” “Hayfever,” Nico muttered. “Nico, it’s November.” “I’m fine!” Nico raised his voice. “Just leave, and have a great time. I’ll be okay.” She frowned at him, but obeyed.

 

As soon as he heard the door shut, he sank back against the counter, new tears streaming down his face. Why did he have to push everyone away? He knew the answer. Anyone who gave a damn about him ended up dead. His mom, Bianca… he didn’t want the same to happen to Hazel.

 

He logged onto his computer, becoming even more desperate. He needed someone to talk to right now. He needed to tell someone about everything he was thinking about right now. Otherwise… otherwise he didn’t know what he’d end up doing. He logged onto _cyberbuddies,_ but saw that Brick was offline. He screamed in frustration, trying to blink the tears away. It didn’t work, of course. His last option was gone. He was just about giving up on the world when his phone pinged. A text.

 

It was from Percy. He frowned. Percy hadn’t texted him in almost six months. What could be so pressing that he’d text him now?

 

_In exchange for a kiss from me, Annabeth will teach those bullies a lesson. I’m happy to oblige, to be honest :)_

Nico almost laughed. Percy had heard the things Jason had said to him that afternoon, and still he was preoccupied with kissing Annabeth. _Wasn’t that always the case though?_ The nasty little voice inside his head said. _Aren’t people always preoccupied when they talk to you? Look at Hazel, wanting to go off with Frank rather than spend time with you when you’re clearly upset. Look at Percy, wanting kisses off Annabeth more than wanting to protect you, even though you love him. Look at Bianca. She abandoned you when she was still alive, remember? She was driving back to see you when that car crashed and she died. If you hadn’t been here, she would still be alive._ That’s not true, Nico thought, but still the voice carried on. _And look at that friend you made online. You honestly think he’d like you, of all people? Who’d ever like you? You’re nobody. You’d be better off dead!_

Those five words rang around over in Nico’s head, over and over again. It was something he’d frequently thought, but never taken seriously. Until now.

 

_You’d be better off dead._

“Fine!” Nico said out loud, wiping tears away. The horrible picture of Hazel coming home to find his body hanging from the light of the ceiling arose to mind; he quickly shook it away. He wouldn’t know about that. He’d be dead by the time that happened. He logged back onto _cyberbullies.com._ “If that’s what you really want.” He was talking to himself now, and he knew that was insane, but he had to talk to someone in this cold empty house, in this cold, empty life, and nobody else was there.

 

He clicked on the message box for **brickingit107**.

 

He had to say goodbye.

 

~

 

Thalia was waiting for Jason when he got home. Her arms folded, her expression angry. But when she saw his bloodied face, his bruising knuckles, she dropped her act. “God, Jason, what happened?” She said, running up to him. He dodged her, walking inside angrily. “Percy did it.” He said flatly. “Jason.” She said. He ignored her. “Jason!” He began to walk up the stairs. He needed to talk to Popcorn about what he’d done. About how it was unforgivable. “Jason Grace, you come back here this instant!” She screamed. He turned around very slowly. “What makes you think,” he said very slowly, “that you have the right to yell at me?” She sniffed. “I’m your sister.” His glare contorted. He just hated everyone right now. “You’re no sister of mine.” Ignoring her broken face, he stormed upstairs.

 

He logged onto the computer. He only hoped Popcorn was online. He needed to make a confession to him, about how he was a downright, utter bully, and that he had no right talking to someone as amazing as Popcorn. He just needed someone.

 

But when his profile showed up, he found that there was already a message from him there.

 

_I’m so sorry, Brick._

_By the time you read this, I’ll probably be dead. That is, if I can pluck up the courage to put the noose around my neck. They broke me down today, Brick, they fucking broke me, and there’s no going back now. Nobody cares. My sister could see I was upset and she went out with her boyfriend, my so called friend cared more about his stupid girlfriend than me when he saw what happened, and I’d just be better off dead. The only person who cares is you, and I’m so sorry for letting you down like this. But I can’t take it anymore._

_This might sound really stupid, since I don’t even know what you look like, and I never will, but I love you. Thank you for everything._

Jason stared at the message for a few seconds, his mind going numb, his head filling with horror. _No._ Then the logical thing came to him, and he began typing frantically, his hands shaking in fear.

 

**Popcorn?**

**Popcorn are you there?**

**POPCORN!**

**PLEASE**

**PLEASE DON’T HAVE DONE IT**

**PLEASE, I NEED YOU**

_I can’t do it, Brick._

The relief shot through Jason so strongly that he felt like he was rising up through the roof, through the clouds.

 

**Fuck, thank God! Shit you nearly gave me a heart attack**

_I can’t do it the noose is just hanging there from the light and I can’t get up on the chair and put my head through it I’m too scared I’m too fucking scared I always have been_

**You can’t! Please, please don’t. I’m here now.**

_Just stay online. I need someone._

**Screw online, let me come over. I’ll be there beside you, I can hold you, and I won’t let you do anything stupid.**

_I don’t want to be any trouble._

**Fuck trouble. You need someone right now. You need me.**

Popcorn gave his address. Jason saw with relief that it was only twenty minutes fast driving from him.

 

_Please. I need you._

**I’ll be twenty minutes tops. I promise, Popcorn, I won’t let you down.**

_Thank you so much._

**I’d do this for anyone, but you? A no brainer.**

He didn’t even bother to log the computer off. He ran straight downstairs, ran into the kitchen and grabbed the car keys off the side, and full on sprinted out the door. Well, he would have done if Thalia wasn’t standing in the way.

 

He ran straight into her. “Shit!” He exclaimed, holding a hand up to his head. “Fucking move, Thalia, I need to go.” “Not before you tell me.” She was standing in front of the door, arms, folding her arms like a bodyguard. Jason didn’t have fucking time for this! “Get out of the way!” He yelled, trying to shove her out of the way, but she pushed him back. “Jason, just tell me –“ “I can’t tell you anything, other than the fact that it’s literally a matter of life and fucking death, and I need to go, now!” He was hysterical, and Thalia could see that. Her face twisted, and she stepped out of the way. The word _go_ wasn’t even out of her mouth before Jason flew out of the door.

 

He drove faster than he ever had before, his heart pounding in his throat. The person he thought he – oh screw that, the person he _did_ love, no matter what the dumb teachers at school say about internet safety, wanted to kill themselves, and he couldn’t let that happen, _he couldn’t,_ he had to stop it. By the time he pulled up outside the house with a screech, he probably should have crashed forty times over, but he guessed God was being kind to him. He knew Jason needed to get to Popcorn, and quick, and he made sure no trucks got in the way of that.

 

He walked up the drive, and it only just occurred to him then that it would be the first time he saw Popcorn. Would he be happy with how Jason looked? And maybe, Popcorn could tell Jason who the fuckers who bullied him were, so Jason could go and throw them off a cliff. But now, saving Popcorn’s life was the priority.

 

For a few anxious seconds, nobody came to the door, and Jason looked down at his feet, tapping anxiously. Shit, was he too late? Had Popcorn… but then the door swang open, and Jason was staring at a pair of feet wearing black shoes. His eyes shot up, past black jeans and an aviator jacket, to rest on a pale face with black hair that hang in front of his eyes. Eyes that Jason had seen looking at him with complete and utter terror in.

 

At first, Jason thought it was some kind of horrible, brutal, _completely sick_ practical joke. It couldn’t be true. _It couldn’t be true._ He didn’t want to believe it. He couldn’t believe it. But as equal horror washed over his face, _Nico di Angelo’s face,_ the awful truth set in.

 

And just like that, Jason’s entire world crashed down around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'M SORRY GUYS


	6. Grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico and Jason have to cope with the fallout.

When Thalia Grace and Percy Jackson came to the door of his house six years ago, telling him his sister was dead, it felt like his body had seized up, twisting itself into an impossibly tight knot. He felt like he was self-destructing, and he was so shocked that tears just wouldn’t come. Well, that was how he felt now. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t happening. _This couldn’t be happening._

Jason let out an anguished moan and pressed his hand to the doorframe for support, tears springing to his eyes. Nico instinctively stumbled backwards, mouthing _no_ without realising. He guessed that did it for Jason. He leant against the doorframe, his head against the wood, and began to cry. The sobs were full of horror and pain, and after a while, through the ringing in his ears, Nico could make out one phrase, repeated over and over again.

 

_I’m sorry._

Nico grabbed Jason’s arm. “Get in,” he said, his voice harsher than he meant it to be. He had to be harsh with Jason. The other alternate was breaking down. Jason stumbled inside, and Nico slammed the door behind him. As Nico fumbled with the keys, locking the door again, Jason staggered towards the wall and slid down it, tears streaming down his cheeks. Nico actually had to fight not to break down.

 

“Nico…” Nico didn’t realise he’d been staring at the floor until Jason said his name, his voice hoarse and cracked. He looked up, tears pricking his eyes. He felt humiliated, but more than that, he felt betrayed. _Betrayed._ The person he… it pained him to think _fell I love with,_ now that he knew what he did, was kind and gentle and sweet online, but a monster in real life. Now he knew why Jason wished himself in Slytherin.

 

Nico made eye contact with Jason, and he had only seen a face so pained and broken once before. When he looked in the mirror after his sister’s death. Jason let out a small whimper. “M’so sorry.” He whispered. “I’m so sorry, Nico, you _have_ to believe me.” His face crumpled, and he let out a sob. Nico couldn’t stand watching anyone like that, so he approached him gingerly. “You know, I never thought I’d see you cry…” He hesitated for a moment. “…Jason.” Jason looked up at him, a bitter smile tracing his lips. “I never thought I’d cry in front of you.” He leant up from the wall. “Nico, I know you won’t believe me, but I’m –“ Nico flinched backwards. Jason had reached out for Nico’s hand, and out of instinct, Nico had backed away. Jason stared at him, his mouth hovering open, and then he really broke down.

 

He started sobbing loudly, and however much Nico tried to soothe him, he wouldn’t stop or be quieter. Nico felt the most bizarre twitch of guilt in his stomach, which was _ridiculous,_ considering everything that had happened. To disguise that, he helped Jason get up, and guided him to the sofa, letting him lie down on it. By now, it was past nine, (yes, Jason had cried for that long,) and Nico watched helplessly as Jason lay down on the sofa and cried himself to sleep.

 

Nico stood back a little, feeling like someone had torn his heart out and thrown it in a blender. The last hour or so had been one of the most painful of his life, and that was saying something considering what he’d been through. He dug a blanket out from behind the sofa, and draped it over Jason. He looked like a little boy, sleeping on the sofa after a nightmare. Only with him, the nightmare was real.

 

Nico managed to get all the way upstairs and lock himself in the bathroom before he finally allowed himself to break down.

 

He let all the pent up pain out as he screamed and cried in the bathroom, and after he had cried so much his eyes were raw, and he was staring at his hollow face in the bathroom mirror, it occurred to him that maybe, just maybe, Jason would feel so desperate that he might be in danger of doing what Nico wanted to do that afternoon. Nico flew downstairs, panicking, and when he saw Jason, still sleeping soundly, he felt like he was flying. Still, just to be safe, he slid a DVD into the TV, half for Jason if he woke up in the night, half for himself for comfort, and curled up on the plush armchair, his head on the armrest.

 

And finally, _finally,_ he let sleep take him away from all the dreadful things that had happened.

 

~

 

When Jason awoke, he was suddenly, stupidly terrified that he’d been kidnapped. When he realised that the strange place he was lay was Nico di Angelo’s sofa, and the thing covering him was not something being used to suffocate him but a blanket, he was relieved for a moment. Then, when he remembered why he was here, the relief disappeared, and the pain and crushing guilt returned.

 

He looked up, fighting back another sob. Nico’s head was resting on the back of the armchair, and he was curled up, his arms around his knees, still asleep. Jason’s face crumpled. He looked so innocent, and small. How could Jason not have seen that before? Nico was only a boy; he had been through so much more than Jason himself, and Jason had broken him. He got up, his mouth trembling, and draped the blanket over Nico. Then he heard the music.

 

He turned around very slowly, and saw that, on the TV, someone, no, scratch that, Nico had put the Game of Thrones Series Two DVD in the TV. He had remembered that one of the very first times they had talked, Jason had told him that he liked Game of Thrones, and that he was up to Series Two. He’d remembered something as small as that. The thought of him, a brpken, scarred boy, sliding the DVD into the TV to make Jason happy when he didn’t deserve any of it, made him sob again.

 

The sob made Nico stir sleepily. He lifted his head up, his eyelids opening to reveal warm brown eyes Jason had never noticed before, (well, he’d never noticed the colour. He’d always noticed the fear in them,) and he regarded Jason with them warily. “Were you watching me?” He asked, his eyes glancing around the room nervously as if he had planted a bomb. Jason shook his head. “I just saw… just saw the Game of Thrones thing.” Nico shrugged, the blanket half falling off his shoulder. “Oh yeah.” He said, his voice soft, dropping his eyes. “I remembered you liked it.” He looked at the blanket properly for the first time. “Did you put this on me?”

 

“You looked cold,” Jason said, the knot of guilt tightening inside him. He approached Nico again, and this time, he didn’t flinch away. He perched nervously on the armrest, and touched his hand on Nico’s elbow. “Nico, I know you won’t believe me, but I am _so sorry_ for everything.” Nico’s mouth quivered, as if it was holding back a sob. “And it probably won’t make any difference, and I’ve fucked up so bad, but I just –“ “Jason.” Nico said, resting his hand on Jason’s. Jason stared at him. “Yeah. You have fucked up. And no, nothing’s going to be normal between us. But –“ He did sob then. “But you’ve shown there’s a good person inside you, and you’ve shown that to me, and despite everything, in some twisted way, you’ve been a good friend. And I –“ His head shot around. “Shit!”

 

“Nico? Is that you?” Hazel Levesque’s voice rang out from the hallway. Nico shot up, grabbing Jason’s arm and dragging him into the other room. “If she sees you here with me she’ll murder you; you have to go!” he hissed, sliding the window open. “Where are you? Are you okay?” Hazel again. Nico pushed him towards the window. “Go!” He said, a little louder, but Jason pulled him back, just for a second, and wrapped his arms around him momentarily, whispering _I’m sorry_ again into his ear. Then he backed away, Nico’s shocked face almost making him laugh, and dropped out of the window.

 

It was only a five foot drop from the window to the ground. He heard Hazel enter the kitchen. “Nico, are you okay?” He heard her ask, and he heard Nico’s shaky reply, insisting he was. Jason felt something inside him twist, with guilt and anger and pain, but he knew he had to go. He wasn’t welcome here anymore. Besides, he’d left his car on the drive.


	7. Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico has to deal with a worried and confused sister, and Jason has to deal with a worried and confused Nico.

Hazel walked into the room barely half a second after Jason disappeared. “Nico, are you okay?” She asked, her face nervous. He pressed a shaking hand to his forehead and told the biggest lie of his life. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he muttered. She raised her eyebrows. “Really?” He nodded, moving away from the window. He had to draw her attention away from it, in case she looked out. “Really.” She put her hands on her hips. “Then why is Jason Grace’s car on the drive?”

 

“ _What?”_ Nico knew Jason was an absolute fucking idiot, but he didn’t think even him would be so stupid to park his car on his worst enemy’s _fucking drive_ when his sister who wasn’t home had to park hers on there too. “I had to park on the sidewalk; the neighbours were fuming. Please give me a good explanation for this.” “I…” he stuttered. “It’s not there.” Hazel laughed. “Then am I hallucinating things? Look!” She stormed across the room and flung open the curtains. “See! It’s… what the heck?”

 

Nico walked over to the window. The car was gone. He sighed in relief. Thank God Jason was good at running. And driving quickly. “I swear it was there!” Hazel insisted. “Five minutes ago, I saw it! On the drive!” Nico took her gently and sat her on the sofa. “I think someone spiked your drink while you were out.” Then, a thought came to him that he’d only just thought of.

 

“Hazel, why didn’t you come home last night?” Hazel turned red. “Um…”

 

“ _Hazel Levesque_!”

 

“Nothing happened!” She insisted, her face turning from red to purple. “When the café shut, \I’d ran out of fuel, and all the fuel stations were closed! Frank let me crash at his place and we walked back in the morning to get my car! That’s it, I swear!” “Okay, you’re off the hook, but I’m having a very stern word with Frank Zhang the next time I see him.” “Nico!” She said. “I… I’m going upstairs to take a shower.” “I’m sure you need one!” Nico called as she left the room. Hazel threw a pillow at him.

 

He lay back on the sofa, smiling a little, but it was wiped off his face when he remembered what he was worried about before Hazel arrived back from her “innocent” night out. And he remembered who slept on the sofa he was sitting on right now. He groaned out loud, and lay down on the sofa. Why couldn’t things be like they were 24 hours ago? Where he didn’t know who Brick was? That would have been just fine with him. But then he remembered. If Jason hadn’t have come over, he probably would have killed himself. In some sick way, Jason saved his life.

 

He was just going to turn his computer on, and talk to Jason, when Hazel padded back downstairs. “Nico,” she said nervously, “Your bed is unmade. Did you sleep down here?” He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. “I was watching Game of Thrones and I fell asleep. Sorry.” Hazel walked over to Nico and hugged him. Nico didn’t realise how much he needed a hug until she did. He buried his face in her shoulder, trying to keep back sobs.

 

“I love you,” she whispered. “I love you,” he replied, but there was something she was holding back on. He pulled away. “What is it?” He asked. She sighed. “Nico, your computer was on as well.” His heart ran cold. Had she seen the messages? No, she couldn’t have. If she’d seen that, she’d be crying.

 

“You made a friend on that cybermentors website, I see.” Nico scuffed the ground with his shoes. “I guess.” Brick wasn’t exactly a friend to him. He was more. But then again, _Jason_ wasn’t exactly a friend to him either. He was more in the line of _person who thinks you’re a punchbag._ In his mind, Jason and Brick were still two different people.

 

Hazel sighed. “I saw that he came over here on your chat.” Nico stared at her. She looked near tears. “Jason’s car was on the drive, wasn’t it?” Nico’s face crumpled and he let out a sob. Hazel ran to hug him again. “Oh, Nico,” she whispered, stroking his hair. “I’m so sorry. Did he… what did he do? Did he.. did he hurt you?” “No!” Nico shouted. Hazel stared at him. “Then… what did he do?” Nico squeezed his eyes tightly shut. “He broke down. He completely broke down, and he… he wouldn’t stop crying. He kept saying _I’m sorry_ over and over again, and I want to believe him, but I’m terrified. _Terrified._ And I –“

 

“Stop.” Hazel took his hand. “Nico, you’re babbling. It won’t do you any good.” “Sorry,” he muttered, staring at the ground. “I just don’t know whether to believe that he’s sorry or not.” Hazel sighed. “I think he is, if he reacted like that. But… you can’t just forgive him, just like that. He made your life hell.” Nico looked up at her. “You knew?” She laughed slightly. “Of course I knew. I’ve seen the bruises, and honestly, it doesn’t take Annabeth to work out what’s been going on.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Nico muttered. She smiled. “It’s okay. I’d just have been able to sort things out sooner, without them coming to this.” Her face suddenly grew stern. “You can’t forgive him just like that, Nico. He did wrong. He really did wrong. In some places, he could be arrested. He could be put in prison.” Nico stared at her. “You wouldn’t do that though, would you? You wouldn’t tell the police?” She shook her head. “Course not. He repented, and besides, I’m not that kind of person.”

 

“Thank you,” Nico whispered, hugging her again. He didn’t know why he cared so much about Jason’s outcome; he just did. “And I promise, I won’t forgive him and beg on his knees to still be my friend. I know what he did. I told him that. He knows I wouldn’t do that.” She smiled. “You’re smart, Nico. I love you.” Then she lowered her voice. “By the way, you’ve got a message from him.”

 

~

 

**We need to talk.**

Jason sent the message without hesitation, then leant forward in his chair anxiously, drumming his hands on the desk, waiting for a reply. He needed to let Nico how sorry he was. He’d already said it, but he just needed to repeat it. He’d felt minor guilt before, but this, _this_ was something totally different. This kind of guilt was a crashing weight inside his chest, hurting him when he moved, spoke, _breathed._ It made him feel ashamed to be alive. Nico couldn’t understand that. He’d never done anything so bad that would make him feel that way.

 

He didn’t hear the knock at the door, or the footsteps that preceded the hand on his shoulder. He nearly jumped out of his skin, minimizing the window he was on and spinning around until he saw Thalia. “What?” he snapped. She sighed. “I have to go soon, before Dad and Hera are back. But where were you last night? Why didn’t you come home?” His face twitched. She rolled her eyes. “Jason, were you drinking? You said it was a life and –“

 

“I was with a guy, okay?!” He shouted. Her eyes widened, and Jason knew he needed to explain more. “A suicidal guy. A suicidal guy I like very much. Is that a worthy explanation?” Her face was twisted. It looked like she was trying not to cry. “I’m bisexual, okay?” He managed to get out. “That’s the big secret. Go ahead. Hate me.” But instead of walking away, Thalia walked straight up to him and hugged him tightly. “I love you,” she whispered. Jason looked at her, shocked. “Why? After everything I’ve –“ “Jason, you’re still my brother, even if you did bully that poor kid.” Jason winced. If she knew that poor kid was the suicidal guy he was in love with, she’d probably be a lot less accepting. “And c’mon. Do you seriously think me, the asexual Hera and Dad threw out of the house, would judge you for being bi? You’re stupid.” She went to hug him again, then she heard a car. “Jason, that’s Dad. I have to go. I love you.” She raced out of the room, and Jason heard the back door slam ten seconds before the front one opened.

 

“Jason?” Hera shouted up the stairs. “Are you home?” “Yeah,” he replied. “I’m busy right now. Homework. I’ll talk later.” Even though they had been away for two days for business, he didn’t want to come down to say hello. Why? Because the window on his laptop that was Nico’s chat was flashing. He’d replied.

 

_My sister knows everything._

Jason blinked at the screen. Nico had always said he wanted to protect his sister from his problems.

 

**You told her? That’s really brave.**

_Well, I told her everything apart from the falling in love with a guy thing. I don’t think she’d take that too well._

 

Jason felt himself going red. He was torn between flying happiness and crushing guilt. Nico had fallen in love with him, but now that he knew who Brick _really_ was, he knew Nico would be in a whole lot of pain.

 

**The _me_ part, or the _guy_ part?**

**I think you should go ahead with the guy part. If she’s a decent person, she won’t judge you for it, and your sister looks like a decent person.**

_You think so?_

**Yeah. I just told my sister I was bisexual, and she was fine with it.**

_That’s really brave._

**Not as brave as punching the person who made your life hell.**

Jason waited. When Nico didn’t reply, he thought he needed to clarify something.

 

**That’s me, by the way. Hi.**

_I know, you moron. I was just thinking._

**Thinking what?**

_I only punched you because you told me to. Well, because I wanted to make your proud by standing up to my bully. Who was also you._

**It’s ironic.**

_You don’t say._

Jason didn’t know how to reply, but he was saved the liberty of doing so, when Nico sent another message.

 

_You know, you were a dickhead. And I know you’re sorry._

**I am, Nico, you have to believe me.**

_I know you are. But being sorry doesn’t make everything automatically okay again._

Jason stared at the screen, a sinking feeling inside him. He already knew that, of course, but it sounded horribly like a line that meant he wanted nothing to do with Jason ever again.

 

**I get it.**

_No! I wasn’t finished! Don’t go!_

Jason felt new hope rise inside him.

 

_It doesn’t make everything okay, but it’s the first step towards everything being okay. If we carry on, things will be eventually._

**You have no idea how grateful I am, Nico. Thank you. I don’t deserve a second chance.**

_Everyone needs second chances. And hey, at least you’re sorry._

Jason’s jaw locked. That was right. He was sorry for what he had done, but he knew someone who wasn’t. And that _was not_ okay.

 

He was going to _kill_ Luke Castellan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not literally


	8. Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico is finally honest with Hazel, and Jason has to face school for the first time since he found out.

Nico sighed as Jason logged off. He knew he shouldn’t forgive him. He knew that it was unforgivable. He _always_ held grudges against people. But now, this was different. He didn’t know why. He’d always been terrified of Jason. Even if Jason was all apologetic, Nico knew he didn’t deserve to be forgiven just like that. Well, he wasn’t forgiven _yet._ It would take a lot more work to do that. But Nico didn’t look at Jason with a twinge of fear anymore. Maybe it was something to do with seeing him cry.

 

“Nico?” He heard Hazel’s voice, and immediately he dived onto his bed so he didn’t have to face her. Hopefully she would think he was just tired after everything that went on yesterday, and that was the reason why he was sleeping at 1 in the afternoon. “Are you in there?” He squeezed his eyes tight shut and tried to look asleep as he heard her footsteps pad into the room. There was silence for a moment, then he heard the click of his laptop closing. Then more footsteps, away from his desk.

 

He let out his breath, thinking she’d gone, then he felt her ruffle his hair. “I don’t get why things keep happening to you,” she whispered. “You’re a good guy. First your mom, then Bianca, and now Jason –“ she sobbed. Nico felt like his chest was self-destructing. “Hopefully someone will see you for who you are. You’re a good guy. You’ve got me, but that can’t suffice forever. You need better friends, maybe a girlfriend –“

 

Nico shot up. What Jason had said came back to him. **_I think you should go ahead with the guy part. If she’s a decent person, she won’t judge you for it, and your sister looks like a decent person._** Would Hazel accept him? She was staring at him like he had grown another head. He had to say it. _He had to._ Before he could have second thoughts, he mustered up every last bit of courage he had in him and blurted it out. “Hazel, I’m gay.”

 

She was silent for a second, her mouth hanging open, then she hugged him instantly. Nico squeezed his eyes shut, tears stinging them, and Hazel rubbed his back. “I love you, Nico,” she whispered. “It’s fine, I don’t mind, I would never mind. I love you, no matter what.” At that, Nico broke down. He couldn’t believe Hazel knew he was gay and still loved him. “Thank you,” he sobbed. “Thank you; I just never thought – oh God, thank you –“ “Nico,” Hazel said sternly. He looked up. Was this where his punishment came? “It’s not a big deal. It’s just part of who you are. And I love who you are. You’re my brother.”

 

He wiped his eyes, unable to calm down. “I’ve just been stressing for so long, what with Percy –“ “Percy?” Hazel asked, her eyes wide. Nico ignored her. “- and his whole thing with Annabeth, and now Jason, I just thought –“ “Wait a second, hold up.” Now she looked angry. “Jason? Are we still talking about Jason Grace here? Not some other Jason? Because why would you ever have a crush on him?”

 

“He was really nice online,” Nico said helplessly. “And he was sweet, and kind, and helpful, and gave me good advice on how to –“ “Deal with him in real life?” Hazel added. Nico looked at the ground. He felt ashamed. Not just for being gay, but for liking Jason. Still liking Jason, after he knew who he really was. “I’m sorry.” Hazel put her hands on his tear stained cheeks. “Hey, don’t worry. You can’t control who you like. You just need to think about how you’re going to cope at school tomorrow.”

 

Nico’s head landed back on his pillow with a groan. Of course, today was _Sunday._ He had to face school tomorrow.

 

~

 

Jason walked into school the next morning, fuming. He didn’t know whether to be happy or annoyed that he wasn’t in any of Luke’s lessons. However, he did have Italian with Nico. His dad had made him take three languages, and Italian was one of them. He didn’t have a clue how Nico got into a junior Italian class. It was his last class on that day. He had something to look forward to.

 

He didn’t know how the hell he survived until lunch. He just kept his head down and didn’t talk once. Not even in Latin, his best lesson. The teacher looked at him like he was mad, but nothing would make him open his mouth.

 

When it came to lunch, he walked into the cafeteria and froze. Luke would come in and want him to sit with the football team. Jason wouldn’t be able to stand a lunchtime without punching him in the face. He got a sandwich, and tried to duck his head and rush over towards the other door towards the library, but he felt a cold hand on his elbow. He span around, and his sandwich slid off the plate. “Shit,” he muttered, and bent to pick it up, but when he heard the voice, he froze.

 

“Wait.” Jason looked up, and Nico was standing there, his face pale and drawn. “I took your advice,” he whispered. Jason shook his head to clear it. “What?” “I told Hazel. She was fine about it, just –“ He took a deep breath. “Just like you said.” Jason rose. “That’s great, Nico.” He said. Nico teetered on his toes, like he was debating saying something. Then he blurted it out. “Listen, don’t shut yourself away. Don’t isolate yourself; it gets lonely. I would know.” “Nico, I –“ “Just trust me on this one.” Nico looked anxious. “”Don’t beat yourself up about it. I’d hate it if –“

 

“Hey!” They both span around. Percy was walking towards them. And he looked _angry._ “Get away from Nico, you jackass!” Jason looked at Nico, panicked. “Gotta go!” he said quickly, then sprinted through the door and up the stairs to the library.

 

After school, Jason waited at the back of school for Luke. He knew he’d be there. He was always there. They met there, so they could discuss what had happened at football training at that lunchtime. Luke would be there. And Jason would get his revenge.

 

He sighed, leaning back against the wall. Italian was normally a walk in the park for him, but he kept getting distracted by Nico. He sat two desks in front of him, and Jason kept finding himself staring at his dark head, bent as it was writing. Once or twice, he turned around to look at Jason. When he realised Jason was already staring at him, he flushed and turned back around, dipping his head to scribble furiously. Ethan, the boy sitting in between them, kept looking back and forth from Jason to Nico, a confused expression on his face.

 

“Jason!” Luke’s voice sounded from behind him, and Jason turned around, his face twitching murderously. Luke slapped him on the arm, grinning. “Rumour’s going round you were talking to Di Angelo this lunch without punching him. What, got a little soft spot for the faggot now or is it just the rumour mill again?” That did it for Jason. He raised his fist, and punched Luke in the face. “I’ll have you know it’s true.”

 

He punched and kicked Luke over and over again, ignoring his screams and pleas for what he’s done wrong. In the throat, in the nose, in the stomach. Luke ended up slumped against the wall, blood dribbling down his face, groaning, before Jason even had the chance to breathe. “How could you do that to him?” Jason yelled, near tears. “How could you hurt him so badly?!” Luke turned his head, the glare he gave Jason chilling him to the bone. “In case you’ve forgotten, you’re the one who hurt your faggot friend the most.” “Shut up!” Jason yelled, kicking Luke roughly in the stomach. Luke groaned, but he still carried on. “You’re the one who first wanted to bully the little runt in the first place. You’re just as guilty as me.”

 

Jason raised his fist again, ready to stop the words Jason didn’t want to hear happening, but a hand caught it. “Jason!” Nico yelled. “Get away from him!” Jason stumbled backwards. “What?” “I said get AWAY!” Nico screamed, and Jason backed off. Nico gestured to Luke. “Go. Get away from here.” Luke stumbled backwards. “You’re crazy, Grace. You’ve lost it. Completely lost it!” Jason watched him stagger away, then with a heavy heart, turned around to face Nico.

 

~

 

“Jason,” Nico said, glaring up at him. “What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing?” He didn’t feel scared; the fear he would have felt three days ago at looking up at Jason didn’t seem to be capable of coming to him. Only anger was in its place. Anger that Jason would beat up someone else for what he did to Nico. Nico didn’t need anyone getting revenge for him.

 

Jason hung his head. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. Nico sighed, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry won’t do much good now. Nobody listens to _I’m sorry_ when you’re in the wrong. They’re just blindsighted by what you’ve done wrong, and they don’t let you apologise. They just yell.” Jason looked at him, his blue eyes wide. “Do you not believe I’m sorry then?” Nico mentally slapped himself. “Of course I do, Jason, but I’m just saying that I’ll let something go easier than Luke will. Or, if he runs and tells a teacher, quicker than the teacher will. They’ll make you beg on your knees for forgiveness and still then it isn’t enough.”

 

Jason rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not sorry for what I did to Luke. He deserved every one of those punches.” Nico rolled his eyes. “Then why did you –“ “I’m sorry for letting _you_ down.” Nico stopped. “Oh.” “Yeah, oh,” Jason said sarcastically. “I don’t care about letting Luke down, I don’t care about letting my parents down, all I care about right now is letting you down, and he deserves what he got, but I shouldn’t’ve done it.”

 

Nico pressed his hand to Jason’s upper arm, his heart beating in his throat. “You didn’t let me down. You just –“ He sighed. He couldn’t believe he was going to be so brutally honest to the guy who had bullied him for over a year. “You need to stop beating up other people for what you’ve done. You hurt me, and you can’t deny that. You can’t hurt yourself for what you did, but you can’t hurt other people either. If you accept what you’ve done, this hate will go away.” Jason’s face crumpled. “How could the hate go away?” He whispered. Nico’s heart almost broke into pieces. “How could I stop hating myself when I know how much I hurt you? For fuck’s sake, I almost drove you to suicide, _I did that,_ and I’m never gonna forgive myself, and I fucking _hate_ myself for it!” He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, but tears still rolled down his cheeks.

 

Nico rose up on tiptoe, so his eyes were just level with the bottom of Jason’s. His heart was beating so fast he thought it would burst his ribcage. “But you saved me,” he whispered. “You saved me, and – open your eyes, Jason –“ He did, and Nico was greeted by a flash of bright blue, breathlessly close to him. “No, I can’t forgive you yet. But I will, in time. And…” he fought back a sob. “Go on,” Jason said, his voice soft and his breath warm on Nico’s cheek. “I’m already halfway there,” Nico finished, and he kissed Jason, softly, just once, on the lips.

 

Nico pulled away to find Jason silently crying.

 

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered. “I don’t deserve anything, least of all you.” Nico linked hands with Jason. “You know we can’t be together, right?” Jason nodded. “I’m not emotionally ready for that, and you aren’t either. It would only make everything worse.” Nico was surprised he was being the voice of reason here, but Jason was in no way a place to fulfil that roll. “But in time, we will be.” “In time,” Jason repeated, looking a little dazed. Nico managed to smile. “I’d better be off home. Hazel will wonder where I –“

 

“Jason!” They both span around to find Leo Valdez walking down the hill. “He must have come from the back entrance of school,” Nico whispered. Leo walked right up to them, a grim expression on his face. “Jason, they want you at the principal’s office.” “What? Why?” Jason immediately protested. Leo looked down at the ground uneasily. “Nico, you’d better go too.” “Just tell me why!” Jason yelled, and Leo flinched backwards. “They know everything about Nico,” he muttered. Jason’s hand squeezed Nico’s so tightly that he thought the blood supply would be cut off, but Nico didn’t care. He felt like he was falling.

 

Leo looked up at Jason nervously. “I… I think they’re going to expel you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the last chapter!


	9. White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason tells the truth, and Nico tells a lie, and they both tell each other how they want to carry on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it. The end of the story. I've had so much bloody fun writing this, and it's been my most popular on AO3 so far. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that you've enjoyed it. And I really hope you have. And if you're reading this now, thank you, because that means you've been with me till the end of the line. And that means a lot to me. So, thank you for reading, and goodbye for now. Elvis has left the building.

Jason walked up the hill back to school, not feeling anything. His hand, which was linked in Nico’s and would normally have been sparking or something dumb by now, was numb. If they expelled him, would he ever see Nico again? And since it was so serious, would they arrest him? What he had done was certainly worthy of a criminal charge. He didn’t deserve this, this _amazing_ boy’s hand linked in his anymore than he deserved a happy life, a loving family, or friends. He was a monster. _A monster._

Leo, who was leading them, turned around when he got in front of the Principal’s office. He stared at their still joined hands, a little confused for a second, then when Nico pulled away, his face visibly reddening, his face returned to its composed state. “Nico, I think he wants to see you first,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. Nico nodded. “Okay,” he whispered, and knocked on the Principal’s door.

 

After a few second delay, where Jason was sure his heart was going to fly out of his chest, the door opened and Principal Kronos’ head poked out. “Nico,” he said kindly, then looked up and saw Jason. His expression hardened to one of pure stone. “You’d better come in with me, Mr di Angelo. I’ll deal with you first.” Nico shot a nervous look at Jason. The Principal seemed to misunderstand and put a hand on Nico’s shoulder. “Now, there’s nothing to be worried about.” Nico flinched away and walked into his office. The Principal shot a look at Leo. “Will you be alright keeping watch over him? You’re not uncomfortable on your own?” Jason shrank down under his harsh glare, but Leo held his ground.

 

“I’m fine,” he insisted, and the Principal nodded, turning away to speak to someone inside the office. Jason could just make his words out, though they were muffled, and heard him say “Yes, thank you very much for telling me. If you could go and assist Mr Valdez now?” Jason heard a noise of acknowledgement, and bit on his lip, trying to control his rage, as Percy Jackson walked out of the door.

 

Percy glared at him, but Jason wasn’t going to do anything. He owed that to Nico.

 

“I hope you’re pleased with yourself,” Percy spat. “You don’t know the half of it. Poor Nico’s been –“ “No, _you_ don’t know the half of it!” Jason said angrily. Leo inched away from him, but Percy stood his ground. “Oh, how has it hurt you more than Nico? Please, do tell me!” He glared at Percy. “When did I say that it hurt me more than Nico? That’s in no way what I was saying! I was saying that it’s more painful than you will ever know because… because…”

 

Jason ended up telling them everything.

 

When he had finished, Leo sat back in his chair and whistled. “Dude, that’s so pathetically ironic it’s almost funny.” Jason scowled at the ground. “Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think, that for the past three days, I’ve been haunted by what’s happened? I’ve hated myself, thought of myself as a monster, had every shred of self-respect destroyed?” Percy was looking at Jason with an odd expression on his face. “You really do have a strange relationship, don’t you?” He said, and Jason hung his head. “Yeah, I –“ and he was about to continue when the Principal’s door swung open again.

 

Nico emerged, hanging his head, his dark hair falling in front of his eyes. Jason looked up at him, trying to meet his eyes, but Nico didn’t. This only solidified the knowledge that Nico had told the Principal everything Jason had done to him. But he wasn’t angry. He knew he deserved it. Every single bit of it.

 

Principal Kronos followed him out, and made eye contact with Jason. Jason stood up immediately. He didn’t even have to say anything for Jason to know he was being summoned. He walked into the office, his heart in his shoes, knowing this might be the last part of the school he would ever see.

 

“Take a seat,” the Principal commanded. Jason immediately sat down, looking nervously up at him. “Mr Jackson has made a claim about you, Mr Grace. Do you know about that?” “Yes,” he whispered. He had to keep his voice low otherwise he would start crying, and he couldn’t cry in front of the Principal, he just _couldn’t._ “It was a claim that you have been bullying Nico di Angelo.”

 

Jason sat back, tears stinging his eyes. As he felt the first one roll down his cheek, followed by so many others, he let out the first sob. Oh, how he _hated_ himself for breaking down like this in front of Principal Kronos, but he couldn’t stop himself. He wanted to _die,_ it was so painful, and he had opened his mouth, to finally relieve the pain, to tell him _everything,_ when –

 

“And Nico has fully denied these claims. Is what he says true?”

 

Jason stared at the Principal, in a state of shock. Only one word could escape his mouth, as false as it was.

 

“Yes.”

 

~

 

Nico pressed the back of his head against the wall that had leaflets on about study techniques and inspirational quotes, all that kind of bullshit. Percy and Leo had already left, having dealt with Jason. He had lied, lied through his teeth to the Principal, something he never thought he would do, but it was to save Jason’s school career, (he’d get a pretty shitty record if he got chucked out of school,) job prospects, (nobody wanted to take on someone with a tendency of bullying,) and possibly his whole life. Nico had seen how broken Jason had been. If he got thrown out of school, he wasn’t sure he could be mended.

 

Nico flexed his hand. He had held Jason’s hand for comfort, but he knew there was something else in the squeeze of his fingers. He knew he liked Jason, against all odds. It was almost funny. Who would have thought six months ago that today, Nico would have a crush on Jason Grace of all people? But Nico wasn’t even denying that it could never work. They were both too emotionally fragile for any relationship right now, let alone with each other. Maybe in the future. That thought kept Nico pushing forward. _Maybe in the future._

 

Suddenly, the door opened, and Jason stumbled out. Nico sat up straight as Jason tried to look inconspicuous as the Principal walked out after him. “I’m sorry for the misunderstanding, boys,” he said. “I will have a word with Percy Jackson and I will just be keeping an eye on you three over the next week.” “Yes, sir,” Jason mumbled. Nico nodded his head. Principal Kronos gave a pale imitation of a smile. “Now, go off home and play on your XBOX or whatever boys do.” They nodded, and walked around the corner, but as soon as they were out of sight, Jason grabbed Nico’s arm.

 

“Nico, wait.”

 

Nico turned around and was immediately embraced by Jason, who wrapped his arms tightly around him, mumbling “Thank you,” into his ear. Nico patted his back nervously, unsure what to do. He was painfully aware his heart was racing. “It’s fine. It was the least I could do.” At that, Jason pulled away, and he actually looked angry. “Why was it the least you could do? I don’t deserve _anything_ off you! I don’t deserve anything off _anyone!_ It was more than I could hope for, not the least you could do, and for that, I’m eternally grateful.”

 

Nico rubbed the back of his neck. “Jason, I mean what I said before. Nothing can happen between us yet. You’re not ready; you’ll just be apologising all day, and I’m certainly not –“ His voice caught, and Jason touched his shoulder. “It’s fine. I’m not asking for anything to happen. I don’t deserve –“ “Stop saying you don’t deserve me!” Nico yelled. Jason’s face would have been hilarious if it were in different circumstances. “I don’t care whether you think you don’t deserve me or not. That doesn’t matter. What matters is if I care enough about you to stay with you anyway, whether you deserve it or not. And… and I do.”

 

Jason squeezed his eyes tightly shut for a moment, then opened them again. “I know that you said you don’t want us to be… together. But there’s nothing stopping us at being… friends?” Jason’s voice rose at the end of the sentence, as if he was asking Nico’s permission. Nico sighed in half relief, half disappointment. On the one hand, he was glad he wouldn’t have to part ways with Jason forever. On the other, he was sad they couldn’t be together straight away. But Nico knew it would only go sour quicker. They just had to wait for a while.

 

“No, there isn’t,” Nico answered, and Jason’s face loosened significantly. He held out his hand. “Well, then. Friends?” Nico nodded. “Friends. For now, anyway.” “For now,” Jason repeated, and they finally shook hands, as allies, and as friends.

 

_**The End.** _


End file.
